My Womb

I am currently six and a half months pregnant and it has got me thinking about the whole process of creation. Art work or any creative project has the same process as the creative process of nature, e.g. babies. First there is the idea (conception), then the actual making or growing (gestation) and finally the birth. However I think the process for babies can be simpler.

Creating babies has a clearly defined beginning, middle and end.  I am not negating the complexity and joy of bringing a baby into the world but I just find some creative projects just so damn hard to give birth to.  And with art projects I am often unclear of what I am trying to do until it is done. 

Above is a painting I did during my last pregnancy.  It is part of a series and related to the embroidery I showed last week.  The project is called 'My Head, My Heart, My Womb'.  It is based on my hospital stay in antenatal care during my last pregnancy. The paintings and ideas behind it were used as a brief or a starting point for work I do each week with women in maternal care in the Maternity Hospital. 

The idea came to me with such ease, the paintings painted themselves and I was offered the job to work with these women with open arms.  I have spent nine months (coincidence) working with pregnant women, most have never painted before, producing beautiful images relating to there pregnancy and how they are feeling at the time. All of them are in hospital because of complications, some more serious then others.

During this time so many ideas of exhibitions and books were discussed and promised and all fell through.  I collected all the images, many of the stories and evaluated some of the women's response to the project.  However it hasn't been birthed. I don't know where to go now or what to do. I don't want to lose all this valuable work. 

So often projects, paintings, novels get lost in the womb. Perpetual gestation. So what is it about growing babies that I can learn from to bring this project somewhere? First, everyone is clear what you get at the end. Second, there is labour before the birth, and there is no avoiding that part.Thirdly, you have prepared yourself for the nine months of what is to come and allowed for space in your life to accept it. I think I will sit with these ideas of what exactly do I want and what sort of work is needed to achieve that. In the meantime I will start sharing some of those images and stories so they don't get lost in my womb, with the real baby.